I hallucinate sometimes. Usually I know that whatever it is isn't real, that my brain is going kerflunky, but sometimes I don't. Last night, I was helping Dora feed her new snake, and was trying to warm the thawed out pinky mouse with a heat lamp. The heat lamp had a red bulb in it, so the entire scene was a little surreal anyway. Then the mouse started to move. First its paw twitched. Then its nose. I think that maybe the hind end moved a little, too. My first thought was an overwhelming horror that we had to do something! We had to help the baby mouse warm up and start breathing! How could this poor thing have died, been frozen, and somehow survived? It was horrible. Then I realized I must be wrong, because it wasn't possible. It had to be my brain doing a weird back flip into the Twilight Zone.
Even knowing that, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that the mouse was somehow alive, and I should have saved it.
6 comments:
could it be the body moving as it unthawed and the muscles contract?
not contract, duh, but elongating as they heat up? who knows? i have heard of dead bodies moving from gasses moving, rigor setting in etc...
No, it was already unthawed. It could have been something else, but I could tell it was a hallucination because I have certain feelings when I have them-- weird blank, hyper focused on the event feelings... agh, it's hard to describe. I guess the easiest way to describe it is like I am all of a sudden on acid, everything is warped and weird in that way. Once I recognize it for what it is, I can usually make it stop (for visual hall., auditory are harder to stop). Anyway...
i am very happy that they are not full blown hallucinations....i love you
Oh, sometimes they are. It's just that I can find my way out of them usually... or see them for what they are.
how boring for most people to just see stuff all the time as it is....booooring!
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