Vacation.

Ahh... yes... That was what I needed! A nice, two week vacation. Three meals a day, snacks whenever I wanted, lots and lots and lots of pills. Met some nice people, listened to a nice man talk to the voices in his head. whisper whisper whisper

And now a big change is coming. It shouldn't come as a surprise to me-- after all, one horrible fucking thing after another has happened since last summer. Now the worst of all, and I am so sad I can't even express it. Especially because I took the sleepytime meds and it will be getting up with children in five and a half hours time....

This is so horrible. It's like seeing a tiny kitten lost in the rain in the middle of the highway and there is no way to stop and change its fate. That kind of pain. I am so tired of living with this in me... I know one day it will change, change always comes, but each moment of living through this is unbearable.